Where would I be without my sobriety, I don’t know, most likely dead.
On the eve of my 51st birthday, I am happy to sit and reflect about where I am in life. Today I am feeling most grateful for several things none would be here if I wasn’t sober – my sobriety, my family, my career . . . my life.
Only by the grace of God I am over 23 years clean and sober. I say the grace of God because I know that I would not be here, alive left to my own choice. But somehow God intervened on May 6, 1990, and the rest is history.
What I do know is that I am reflecting, hearing about Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s death and thinking about the career that I have chosen as a Psychiatric Therapist. In my profession, I see so many cases of addiction, too many to state and far too many that are engraved in my brain that will not go away.
The power of addiction:
Addiction takes the form is so many ways. What I have to keep in mind is that what my addictive behavior and drug of choice is may be different than others. But the bottom line is that the feelings, emotions and self esteem are all affected and no matter how much that empty void is attempted to be filled with drugs or alcohol, the hole gets deeper.
The fact that I am able to practice as a Substance Abuse Counselor and that I can help others. Getting my Masters in Social Work and practicing the principles in all areas of my life. Working to help the addict who reaches out and ask for help or who may be sitting in front of me needing direction and guidance. I am truly blessed.
There are so many cases that I have seen over the past 14 years as a Substance Abuse Counselor and more recently as a psych therapist for ER patients. Most of the people I have seen were in their active addiction, feeling hopeless, helpless and having no ability to deal with reality, looking for that escape.
That’s where I was, 23 year ago, but it got better.
As the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book states somewhere, addicts lose the ability and power to choose. At some point, the addict can’t NOT say ‘No’ to alcohol or drugs; the addiction to their drug of choice is too powerful and will power is not enough.
There but for the Grace of God, go I. Thank you God for my sobriety, my life.