Unscheduled Lessons – Learning never stops!

So Good Bye 2011 – What a Year!

I have always believed that even though I did not like a situation, I would have to ask myself, “did you learn something from this?” It never fails, I always learn something.  However, when I set out to face the year ahead December 31, 2010, I had no idea of the lessons I would learn this past year.

Here are a few:

Job change is good.

I can survive a job change and feel good about a decision that was long over due. When I decided to leave my job, I had a lot of fear. Change is hard and change is scary. I had to rely on my HP to carry me through it. And moving forward was so beneficial for my self-esteem and my career.

When changing jobs, make sure the marriage is intact.

Less than two months after deciding that I would rely on my then husband financially, he decided to leave the marriage. So, in the future, I will assure that I am financially stable prior to changing my job as I was not aware that my then husband would be my now ex-husband.

I can survive the end of a marriage, successfully.

When my now ex decided to end the marriage, it was not the worst thing that happened to me. I think it was the kick in the teeth that I needed to accept unhappiness and realize that I deserve to be happy. So I did not die when my marriage was over, instead, I moved forward. Resilience is a great mantra!

A divorce does not have to be dragged out!

I was able to get divorced in less than 100 days! It was filed, it was not protested, we agreed on everything as adults should and I feel I came out ahead in the end. And I did not have to listen to Sarah McLaughlin over and over to feel sad, it just came naturally.

Keep my iTunes account away from others!

During the divorce, we had to discuss the separation of the iTunes account. Oh, divorce in the tech century, I didn’t realize that no matter how much I think we will be together forever, you will not get my iTunes password!

Dating over 45 is challenging and I must be tech savvy!

So, I don’t go to clubs, don’t have time to go to parties, events, whatever, so If I want to meet someone, I must know how to load pics on an internet dating site. I have also had to learn what to look out for in a person I want to date and who is fake/fraud profiles. Always see if there is an app for the dating site, it helps when away from the computer. And never take an unanswered message from the site personally. Which relates to the next lesson.

Just because you like me doesn’t mean I have to like you.

I have learned to send polite ‘No’s” to those who absolutely positively think that they are the person for me. I also have had to learn that I have the right to make choices. Oh, and ‘let’s be friends’ is not always about me.

Even at this age, I can still have a roommate.

Having more than enough space, getting a roommate was a smart choice. I have learned that when I put it out in the universe and my HP, I get what I ask for.

Recycle, recycle, recycle!

My roommate has taught me wonderful lessons in recycling. There is less garbage in my trash bin and more recyclable items in the recycle bin. Thanks roomie!

No matter what, God, family and friends will always be there!

During this past year, I have had to reach out, reach up and crawl out of what could have been a devastating situation, but all that reaching led to others grabbing me and carrying me. From God to friends of 20 years. Thank you God, family and everyone who I call friend for being there over this past year.As 2011 rolls into 2012, I know that with the experiences I have had, I am okay, no matter what!





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About: Sonya Adams, LCSW, LCDC, SAP

Social Worker, HIV Advocate, Addiction Counselor and all around feminist!

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